I was informed by a flustered guest that there was a woman walking around the store with no pants on. I requested more information by saying, "What?!". I proceeded to the area where the guest directed me. My immature boy's dream of a supermodel kicking it half-naked in my store came crashing down around me as I took in the scene. Half-way down the aisle stood an adult woman wearing only an oversized t-shirt featuring airbrushed kittens. In stark contrast to the smoothing effecting the airbrush had on the kittens (or on super hot super models), this "lady" was rough. Pale, chunky, and obviously not someone that gets a lot of cuddling. She was even sporting a medium sized band-aid on her chin. I mustered what remained of my patience and professionalism and asked if she was alright. Of course, she said she was fine. I took a deep breath and decided it was going to be that kind of conversation. I told her that I was sorry, but her state of undress was inappropriate for a children's store and that I would need her to leave. She started to argue and say that her "companion" was going to meet her shortly. I informed her I could ring her up if she wanted to purchase an item, but she would not be able to wait for her companion in the store. She begrudgingly agreed to come with me to the service desk to purchase her barbie item.
I started ringing her up and attempt to act as if she is just another guest, asking "Do you have your rewards card?" (Really going through the motions here. Trying to act like Officer Barbrady "Nothing to see here. Move along") Just then, I hear "Catherine . . . Where are your pants?" I looked to my right to see what had elicited this response from someone just walking in the door to find a short, professional, middle-aged women staring, slack-jawed at my half-naked guest. Realization smacked into my brain a half-second later when my guest responded to the question with "They got wet; I had to take them off. . . . I'm sorry." Apparently, my half-naked guest's "companion" had arrived.
I knew after she arrived that this older woman would be taking the half-naked one off my hands. And for that I was immensely grateful, because, looking back, I'm not sure how I would have felt about kicking this lady to the curb half dressed. The older women, who at this point, I'm guessing is either the younger one's mother, caretaker, or both; continued to look at "Catherine" in disbelief. I continue going through the motions of the sale, trying to wrap up the transaction and the whole ordeal. The "companion" turns to me with a look that says, "Did you notice that she doesn't have pants on?". I flash her my best smile and turn to ask Catherine if she needs a bag for her Barbie. She says yes and her caretaker asks to have a couple more to prevent the carseats from getting wet. I happily oblige. I hand Catherine her change and thank her for coming in, apologizing for requiring her to leave. The older lady gives me one last look, like she can't believe I'm not blind, decides instead to thank me for the way I handled it and leaves with Catherine (who is happy that she purchased her own Barbie, but feels bad that she disappointed her mom) in tow.
I let out a long sigh and looked up to see the guest who told me about Catherine in the first place. He thanked me for taking care of the situation. I told him that is what I am there for, which is not usually true, but in this case, I guess it is. He then informs me that he first spotted her when she came out of the MEN'S restroom. That just topped it off for me and I finally lost it, laughing for a solid minute.
